Fighter
by Imperfectionist D
Summary: Kel has been enchanted by the charms of Joren Stone Mountain, but will she ever know if his feelings for her are true to it's words or not?
1. Default Chapter

**Fighter by Imperfectionist ;D**

AN: This is a song fic about Joren and Kel, and it's my course of how their relationship went during Kel's third and fourth page years.

Disclaimer: I don't own this song nor Tortallan characters what so ever!

          The Lady Page Keladry of Mindelan was in her own world, whilst lying at the bottom of an ancient oak tree, observing the midday sun light trying to pass through the golden shedding leaves to reach the ground. Being under this tree reminds her of that time when she had befriended Joren, which was almost a year and a half ago.

          Joren appeared silently from behind the tree trunk and smiled. Kel kept her distance from him; the past two years experience showed her that he would do anything to banish her from the palace.

_"Page Keladry," he said, as he sat down next to her on the floor._

_"Good afternoon Squire Joren. If you don't mind, I have practice to do." She got up swiftly, cautious as ever. She felt him hold her wrist, from Yamani training, she turned and twisted his wrist. _

_          Joren yelped as he yanked his arm back. "Why did you do that for?" he asked questionably, "I wasn't going to hurt you. I only came to ask you if we could start afresh." He rubbed his sore wrist and stood up, facing Kel._

_"I realised that we got off on the wrong foot and I would like to start a fresh with you." He brought out his right hand, "Good Afternoon, I am Squire Joren." _

_Kel shook it firmly and smiled slightly. "Good afternoon to you too Joren. Lovely weather today isn't it." _

_          Joren routinely looked into the dazzling sun that hung in the clear blue sky. "Yes it is." He looked down at his boots nervously and sighed. "I would like to ask you if I may join you in practices this afternoon."_

_          "In order to collect bruises? You may if you want the consequences." She said jokingly, maybe it would be alright to jest if they were to start afresh. Though Kel still took the precautions, since her first hand to hand combat training, it proved the nicer Joren was, the more dangerous he was. He pretended to be the flower but was the serpent under it. _

_          He took her jest lightly and laughed. They spent the their afternoon in a practice court, testing each other's ability, strength and speed with the staff, hand to hand combat and many other weapons which didn't require a horse such as jousting. For Kel it was a comfortable experience, as the grudge between her opponent and she didn't exist. _

          Kel pondered on how Joren and she got so close in a year's time. They wrote frequently when Joren was away with his knight master. And when they were both in the palace, they spent time together with Kel's other friends. Though they were hardly together on their own, their friendship grew stronger with a remarkable speed.

          Soon Kel came to discover her particular attentions towards the beautiful Joren. She never told anyone, since she never told anyone her old feelings for Neal. There were no particular reasons why she should tell anyone now. She kept her own saccharine feelings to herself until Midwinter.

_          Someone knocked audibly on Kel's chamber door, whilst she was reading a gripping book on a seat next to her window. She got up annoyingly for that person on the other side of the door has interrupted her from her read and opened the door. Leaning across the door frame was Joren dressed in a cream shirt and black tunic which contrasted with his mystical ice blue eyes. Kel's heart pounded vigorously at the sight of her friend, but she kept her face only friendly. _

_"You know, you have interrupted me in a good book." She said annoyingly._

_"I'm sorry mother, next time I make sure I won't by peeking through the window." He grinned when Kel scowled at him. Lalasa was out to visit her uncle, so Kel began making some tea for her friend, while he sat on her bed and gave her sparrows some seeds. It was a silent atmosphere, where only the sparrows interrupted it with their chirpings. When Kel passed Joren a cup of warm tea and sat down beside him, did Joren break the silence. _

_"Kel, I have come to give you something." He turned round and brought out a fairly long slim box the length of Kel's forearm. "This is your midwinter present." _

_          Kel took it and the box heavier than she expected, the box was embroidered, as the Yamani would have done with their gift boxes. She pulled the lid off easily and found inside a beautifully crafted shukusen. One that has a black background with skilfully embroidered goldfishes. She ran her fingers over the sharp silver blade of the fan and resting the base of the fan on her palm, she flipped the fan over which landed neatly on her palm with a thud. Such beautiful shukusen was a fortune, especially if the threads used to embroider the goldfishes had hints of gold in it. _

_"Joren, how may I thank you for such expensive gift?" She asked._

_ "That's alright. It's nothing special." He said bluntly, he placed his cup of tea on the desk and looked around the corridor through the opened door. Kel leant on the door frame, waiting for his departure. Joren turned round, Kel thought he would say good bye, but was surprised when he kissed her. She felt so giddy, that she was quite grateful that Joren has held her around the waist to stop her from falling. _

_"Midwinter Luck Kel," He said when he pulled away; he smiled slightly which made Kel fall into a state of bliss. She gave him a lingering kiss and blushed when they pulled away._

_"Midwinter Luck Joren."__ They stared at each other for the longest time known; Joren brushed a strand of hair from Kel's face and walked away. _

          Since Midwinter, Kel remembered all those sweet kisses and embraces they shared also the love letters they exchanged. She carried her shukusen almost everywhere, except to places where the fan was most likely to be damaged. For her, Page life felt better to know someone loved her, and was more determined than ever to train harder to impress him.

          Kel rose from her comfortable position from under the tree and headed back to her room to dress for supper. When she arrived in her room, on her neat desk she found a sealed letter addressed to her written in a too familiar font. Excitedly she ripped it open to read, and was delighted to know that her lover would return to Corus approximately two days time.  She tucked the letter away securely in a box and dressed for supper with a brighter aura around her.

          Straight after her supper Kel restrained herself from going back to her room to check her appearance one more time. She now calmly walked down the corridor where she knew Joren was located. Her heart pumped a beat faster with every step she took, her eyes dazzled with excitement. Her hands unconsciously smoothed her newest skirt. She was desperate to break into a run and barge through Joren's room, however she refrained herself with her Yamani training.  It felt like such a long journey for her to reach the plain door which bared the name 'Squire Joren of Stone Mountain' in a small neat handwriting. She thought to surprise Joren with her entry, so without knocking on the door to let him know her presence she barged into his room loudly.

          Everything happened so fast, her heart felt as if someone hit it so hard that it was too painful to imagine. Her eyes stung with threatening tears to fall, she stopped suddenly to run and embrace her lover, as he was already occupied with a young pretty court lady. The fact that walking in on a man and a pretty lady together in a bed was an embarrassing one. However this time it was different, it wasn't any male Kel knew, but it was one who she was deeply involved with, and this event has showed her the truth of where her man's loyalty lays.

          Kel curtsied slightly, though her mind screamed at such act she performed and suggested strongly to perform one more violent or one which would show the effects of the painful blow at her heart. It was all too much, as much as she wanted to run and be as far as she could get, but her travelling distances were limited up to the walls of the palace. After she closed the door with all the calm being mustered in her, she broke into a run.

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	2. chapter 2 and Last chapter

Fighter by Imperfectionist ;D

Disclaimer: I don't own Tamora Pierce's characters, because obviously she does. Also I don't own the song which is in THIS chapter.

AN: OK so I did forget to type in some information such as telling everyone I decided to cut the fic in half and have two chapters of it. The song comes in, in THIS chapter and this IS an AU! Now if you did enjoy reading the first chapter, well I hope you will enjoy this next chapter.

previous chapter

Kel curtsied slightly, though her mind screamed at such act she performed and suggested strongly to perform one more violent or one which would show the effects of the painful blow at her heart. It was all too much, as much as she wanted to run and be as far as she could get, but her travelling distances were limited up to the walls of the palace. After she closed the door with all the calm being mustered in her, she broke into a run.

She lost sense of where she was, it was until the strong smell of horse manure, did she register she was in the palace stables. She jumped into Peachblossom's stall and curled up in the corner, while Peachblossom's butted his head, to sniff her. She sat with Peachblossom until the full moon shone into the stables, where the mourning moonlight hit the tear stained delicate face. It was then did Kel realised how foolish, naïve and unrealistic she has been acting since Midwinter. The fact that sitting outside in the stables with horses instead of being in your own room where a comfortable bed awaits you was considered as unreasonable and definitely silly.

          She stood up and straightened her page uniform before stealthily moving towards her room. Once she was inside the barriers of her room, she fell into her bed, immune to the stinging heart ache.

It's two full moons ago when Kel sat in the stables, and tonight she looked at it from her window with a hint of sorrow, she pulled her mask on to prevent her from letting her pain leak through her eyes. She hasn't heard from the young man whose chamber she has barged into. Nor has she tried to make contact with him. The truth is she doesn't ever want to be in contact with him, and she's thankful.

During the two lunar months, she tried to avoid the fact that she has been cheated on, and to understand that men love with their eyes and not their heart. She honestly didn't want to think about it, and not even care, as this didn't hurt her. She wished to deny the reality of her situation. To stop her thinking about it, she always tried to find herself things to do, whether it was reading, exercising, running errands, she kept herself too busy to think. By the time her head touched the pillow, she falls into dreamless sleeps. Tonight she let herself relax, and  gave up on the silliest lie she has been saying to herself. She tucked into her bed and cried into an exhausting sleep.

The next afternoon, after she came back from her lunch in the mess hall, she found a letter on her desk. She looked at the seal, and saw it was the Stone Mountain crest sealed on it. She sat down, and as calmly as she could, opened the letter.

Mixed emotions bubbled inside her, she partly dreaded if Joren wrote something cruel, or if the letter was a heart sweetening apology, she wouldn't know until she opened it. The seal broke and the parchment unravelled to see lines of a familiar neat hand-writing.

_Dear Mindelan,_

_How are you doing? Still crying over me at night? Have you planned in leaving for your home yet? _

_You were easier than I thought you would be, every time I read your love-sick letters, I would revolt at the thoughts of it, and threw them in manure. Every time I received your gifts of sweets and small objects, I burnt them in the fire. When I first kissed you, I was close to almost throwing up. I despised every time we held hands or made physical contact. Whenever you said my name, I wanted to bury my sword into your throat so I won't hear you say my name again. Even now when I'm writing this letter, I'm already very ill by the thought of you. I'd never thought you would fall for such act, but you did, and I would laugh behind your back, telling my friends, how stupid you are. _

_I never wanted to be your lover, or your friend. I just wanted you to go home, where you belong. Everyone should thank me of getting rid of you. _

_J.Stone__Mountain___

_P.S. by the way, I was having a very good time, and thank you so much for interrupting._

          Kel instantly threw the letter into the fire, as the wound in her heart reopened and the pain was twice as painful. Finally she began to see clearly, possibly too clearly. The truth was too harsh for her to digest instantly. She was never loved; she was being tricked on, a cruel revenge which could do more harm than physical pain.

          She sat for ages, thinking for the second time about Joren. It has finally begun to sink in, and slowly accepting the truth was less dreading. It seemed like it's been long in the past, when she was with Joren, when she has fell for his deceiving charms. It felt like a long time she has read the last letter from him, even though in reality it was a few minutes. To her now, Joren was nothing more than just a thing, a very beautiful thing, which she has no desires of hate and definitely love for. She took a clean sheet of paper and quill. The tip began to flow with ink and the mixed emotions which belonged to Keladry of Mindelan.

_Dear J __Stone Mountain___

_I really appreciated your letter; it really brought some senses to me._

_When I thought I knew you, thinking that you were true_

_I guess I, I couldn't trust_

_Called your bluff, time is up_

_Because I've had enough_

_You were, there by my side_

_Always, down for the ride_

_But your, joy ride just came down in flames_

_Because your greed sold me out in shame, _

_After all of the stealing and cheating_

_You probably think that I hold resentment for you_

_But, you're wrong_

_Because if it wasn't for all that you tried to do_

_I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through_

_So I want to say thank you._

_It makes me that much stronger_

_Makes me work a little bit harder_

_It makes me that much wiser_

_So thanks for making me a fighter_

_Made me learn a little bit faster_

_Made my skin a little bit thicker_

_Makes me that much smarter_

_So thanks for making me a fighter_

_Never, saw it coming_

_All of, your backstabbing_

_Just so, you could cash in_

_On a good thing before I realized your game_

_I heard, you're going around_

_Playing the victim now_

_But don't, even begin_

_Feeling I'm the one to blame_

_Because you dug your own grave_

_After all of the fights and the lies_

_Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore_

_No more, it's over_

_Because if it wasn't for all of your torture_

_I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down_

_So I wanna say thank you _

_It makes me that much stronger_

_Makes me work a little bit harder_

_Makes me that much wiser_

_So thanks for making me a fighter_

_Made me learn a little bit faster_

_Made my skin a little bit thicker_

_It makes me that much smarter_

_So thanks for making me a fighter_

_How could this man I thought I knew_

_Turn out to be unjust so cruel_

_Could only see the good in you_

_Pretended not to see the truth_

_You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself_

_Through living in denial_

_But in the end you'll see_

_You won't stop me!_

_I am a fighter and I,_

_I ain't gonna stop_

_There is no turning back_

_I've had enough_

_You thought I would forget,_

_But I, I remember_

_I remember, I remember_

_You thought I would forget,_

_But I, I remember_

_I remember, I remember_

_Thanks for making me fighter._

Kel sealed that without signing it. He would know it's from her, as her seal should be familiar to him. From that day on, she was careful with her steps and made delicate care not to bump into the man who was the teacher to her survival, and help as a female knight.

AN: Well…I know my writing quality has lost it's old touch. But please review and tell me what you think of it. Personally, I think it's absolutely rubbish, but I don't want to leave people hanging, and thinking I am one of those authors who doesn't finish fics. (by the way I'm not saying that about particular people since I don't have any in mind! Sorry if it offends you)


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